Ethan Hawke & Uma Thurman: The Nanny, the Denial, and the Marriage That Followed
He denied the nanny affair — then married her three years later
Key Facts
What Happened
Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman were one of Hollywood's golden couples when they married in May 1998, fresh off their respective successes in 'Gattaca' and 'The Avengers.' They had two children — Maya Ray, born in 1998, and Levon Roan, born in 2002. The marriage began unraveling around 2003, when persistent rumors circulated about Hawke's relationship with Ryan Shawhughes, the family's nanny.
Hawke vigorously denied the infidelity allegations, stating publicly that 'Uma and I did not split up over anybody's infidelity.' The couple separated in 2003 and filed for divorce in New York, with Thurman citing irreconcilable differences. The divorce was finalized in August 2005 after what Thurman later described as an 'excruciating' process. Neither the custody arrangement nor the financial settlement was made public.
The denials became increasingly difficult to maintain. In June 2008, Hawke married Ryan Shawhughes — the very nanny whose relationship with Hawke had been the subject of tabloid speculation for years. Hawke later attempted to clarify the timeline, insisting that his romantic relationship with Shawhughes did not begin until a year after his separation from Thurman. The distinction, however thin, mattered little to the public.
Years later, Hawke reflected on the divorce with unusual candor, telling a podcaster that his 'life fell apart' after the split and that the public scrutiny felt 'humiliating.' He acknowledged that he 'had no business' getting married the first time and that the experience forced him to confront his own immaturity. The case remains a defining example of how the nanny-affair archetype plays out in celebrity divorces — denial, divorce, and eventual confirmation.
Legal Breakdown: Infidelity Allegations in No-Fault Divorce States
No-Fault Divorce and Infidelity
New York was one of the last states to adopt no-fault divorce (not until 2010). At the time of the Hawke-Thurman divorce, New York required fault-based grounds or a one-year separation agreement. Thurman filed citing irreconcilable differences under a separation agreement, which meant the alleged infidelity was legally irrelevant to the divorce itself — though it likely influenced settlement negotiations.
New York Custody Standards
New York courts determine custody based on the 'best interests of the child,' considering each parent's living situation, work schedule, mental health, and the child's established routines. For two working actors with demanding schedules, crafting a workable custody arrangement required flexibility and compromise.
Public Denials and Private Negotiations
Hawke's public denial of the affair served a dual purpose: protecting his public image and strengthening his negotiating position in the divorce. Admitting infidelity, while not directly affecting property division in most states, can influence a judge's decisions about custody and can give the other spouse significant leverage in settlement negotiations.
What This Means for Your Divorce
- →In most states, infidelity does not directly affect property division — but it can influence custody decisions and settlement leverage.
- →Public denials of affairs become exponentially harder to maintain when you later marry the person you denied the affair with.
- →The 'nanny affair' pattern is one of the most common catalysts for celebrity divorces — proximity, intimacy, and opportunity create risk.
- →Processing the emotional aftermath of divorce takes years, not months — even the person who initiated the split can be devastated by the outcome.
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This article is based on publicly available court records, news reports, and legal analysis. It is provided for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is created by reading this content.
Divorce laws vary by jurisdiction. Always consult a licensed attorney in your area before making legal decisions.