How to Prepare for Divorce: A Strategic Planning Guide

Learn your full financial picture

List every bank account, credit card, investment account, retirement fund, debt, and property you and your spouse own — jointly and individually. Request copies of tax returns for the last 3–5 years. You need to understand the complete financial landscape before you can protect yourself within it.

Open a personal bank account

Open an account in your name only, ideally at a different bank from your joint accounts. This is not hiding money — it is establishing financial independence. You will need your own account for basic expenses during and after the divorce.

Start building an emergency fund

Even small amounts add up. Set aside what you can — $20 a week, cash back from groceries, selling items you no longer need. If you need to be discreet, use cash or a separate digital account. Having emergency money gives you options when you need them most.

Build your own credit history

Get a credit card in your own name. Use it for small purchases and pay it off each month. If you have been relying entirely on joint accounts or your spouse's credit, you need to establish your own credit history. This will matter when you need to rent an apartment, buy a car, or get a mortgage.

Research attorneys

Many family law attorneys offer free initial consultations. Use them. You are not committing to anything by learning your options. Ask about their approach, fees, and experience with cases like yours. Having this knowledge early gives you confidence and clarity.

Copy or photograph all important documents

Secure copies of everything. Better yet, secure the originals if possible and keep them outside your home.

Create a confidential file

Keep copies of all documents outside your home — at a trusted friend or family member's house, in a safe deposit box, or in a secure cloud storage account your spouse does not know about. Do not store sensitive files on shared devices or accounts.

Find a therapist or support group

Divorce is emotionally devastating even when you are the one choosing it. Start building your emotional support system now. A therapist, a support group, or even one trusted person you can talk to honestly will make a significant difference.

Research housing options

Whether you plan to stay in the marital home or move, start understanding your options and costs. Look into apartments, research rental requirements, and understand what you can afford. Knowing your options reduces fear.

Consult with 2–3 attorneys

Compare their approaches, fees, communication styles, and experience. Choose someone who listens to your concerns, is honest about likely outcomes, and makes you feel informed rather than pressured.

Complete your asset and debt inventory

Create a comprehensive list of everything: all marital assets (property, vehicles, accounts, valuables) and all debts (mortgage, loans, credit cards). Your attorney will need this, and having it ready saves time and money.

Secure your digital life

Change passwords on all personal accounts. Create a new email address your spouse does not know about — use it for all divorce-related communication. Check your devices for monitoring software.

Read more: Digital Safety During Divorce →

Line up your support network

Identify 2–3 people you trust completely. Let them know what is coming so they can be there for you. This might be family, close friends, a therapist, or a faith leader. You do not need to go through this alone.

Secure irreplaceable personal items

Family photos, heirlooms, sentimental objects, jewelry, children's keepsakes. Move them to a safe location outside the home. Once divorce proceedings begin, emotions run high and things can disappear.

Have a place to go

Even if you plan to stay in the home, know where you can go if you need to leave quickly. A friend's house, a family member, a hotel — have a backup plan.

Know where everything is

Confirm you know the exact location of all key documents, your confidential file, and your emergency fund. If you need to act quickly, you should not be searching.

Have emergency cash accessible

Not just a debit card your spouse could freeze — actual cash or a prepaid card in a safe place. Enough to cover a few weeks of essentials: food, gas, a hotel if needed.