Alienation of Affection: Can You Sue in Iowa?
Iowa does NOT allow alienation of affection lawsuits. You cannot sue your spouse's affair partner or anyone else for "breaking up" your marriage. However, understanding this law is important, especially if your situation involves another state. Here's what you need to know.
Need help right now?
Our AI advisor can help you understand whether you have a case for alienation of affection based on your Iowa situation.
Talk to AI AdvisorThe 6 States That Allow Alienation of Affection Lawsuits
North Carolina
The most active state for these lawsuits. Jury awards have reached $9 million (Shackelford v. Lundquist, 2010). Also allows 'criminal conversation' claims (separate tort for sexual intercourse). 3-year statute of limitations.
Mississippi
Recognized through common law precedent. Fewer cases filed than NC but the law is firmly established.
South Dakota
Vigorously defends this tort. State Supreme Court reaffirmed its validity in 2018, ruling only the legislature can abolish it.
New Mexico
Technically maintains the law but sees very few cases filed in practice.
Hawaii
Both alienation of affection and criminal conversation are available.
Utah
Preserves alienation of affection. Has abolished criminal conversation through judicial decisions.
Why Iowa Doesn't Allow These Lawsuits
- ✓Iowa, like 44 other states, has abolished alienation of affection through "heart balm" statutes or court decisions
- ✓The rationale: you cannot 'steal' a person — spouses make their own choices
- ✓Critics argue these lawsuits are used for revenge rather than justice
- ✓Concerns about frivolous litigation and invasion of privacy
- ✓However, you may still have claims for dissipation of marital assets if your spouse spent marital money on the affair
Damages & Notable Cases
- ✓$9 million — North Carolina (2010): Shackelford v. Lundquist, largest known alienation of affection award
- ✓$1.75 million — North Carolina (2025): TikTok personality case, demonstrating these lawsuits remain very active
- ✓Damages can include: emotional distress, loss of consortium, loss of income/support, medical costs, punitive damages
- ✓The defendant does NOT have to be a romantic partner — in-laws, therapists, or anyone who maliciously interfered can be sued
- ✓Insurance typically does NOT cover alienation of affection judgments — the defendant pays personally
- ✓Many cases settle before trial to avoid public exposure
Criminal Conversation: The Related Claim
- ✓A separate tort that specifically covers sexual intercourse with someone else's spouse
- ✓Available in North Carolina, Hawaii, and a few other states
- ✓Easier to prove than alienation of affection: just need to show marriage existed + sexual intercourse occurred
- ✓Often filed alongside alienation of affection for maximum leverage
- ✓The defendant cannot argue the spouse consented — consent is not a defense
Practical Considerations
- ✓No claim available in Iowa — but consider dissipation of assets claims in your divorce
- ✓Statute of limitations: typically 3 years from the wrongful conduct
- ✓Evidence needed: communications, financial records, witness testimony, timeline of marriage deterioration
- ✓These lawsuits are public and can be emotionally taxing — weigh the costs vs. benefits carefully
- ✓Some attorneys take these cases on contingency (no upfront cost — they take a percentage of the award)
- ✓Consider whether the defendant has assets to collect from — a judgment is worthless if they can't pay
Every situation is different
Want to know your legal options? Tell our AI advisor about your situation and we'll help you understand what's possible in Iowa.
Explore My Options →Was this helpful? Help us keep it free.
divorce911.ai is funded entirely by donations. Every dollar keeps the AI assistant and 1,700+ guides free for people in crisis.
Know someone going through a divorce? This could help them.
Legal Disclaimer: This article covers Iowa divorce law for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Laws change frequently. Always consult a licensed Iowa family law attorney for advice specific to your situation.