Dating During Divorce in California: What You Need to Know Before You Swipe
You are going through a divorce in California, and you are wondering if it is safe to start dating. While California is a no-fault divorce state — meaning adultery is not grounds for divorce — dating during the process can still create significant problems. It can inflame your spouse, complicate custody proceedings, constitute dissipation of marital assets, and hurt you in settlement negotiations. Here is what you need to know.
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No-fault state — but not risk-free
California does not require proof of fault to grant a divorce. However, judges are human, and a new relationship during an active divorce case can color their view of your judgment and priorities — especially in custody matters.
Impact on spousal support
While California generally does not consider marital fault in spousal support decisions, cohabitation with a new partner can be grounds to reduce or terminate spousal support — even before the divorce is final.
Impact on custody
Judges evaluate parents' judgment and the stability of the home environment. Introducing a new partner during an active divorce can raise concerns about your priorities, your judgment, and the emotional impact on your children.
Impact on property division
In community property states, money spent on a new relationship before the divorce is final can be classified as dissipation of community assets, entitling your spouse to reimbursement.
Dissipation of Marital Assets
Even in no-fault states, spending marital money on a new relationship during divorce proceedings is one of the most common — and costly — mistakes.
- ✓Gifts, dinners, trips, hotels, and entertainment for a new partner paid with marital funds constitute dissipation
- ✓Your spouse's attorney will subpoena credit card statements, bank records, and payment app histories
- ✓Courts can order the dating spouse to reimburse the marital estate or award the other spouse a larger share
- ✓Even using your 'own' money may be a problem — until the divorce is final, most assets are still marital
- ✓Moving a new partner into the marital home or a home paid for with marital funds is especially damaging
Social Media Dangers
Everything is evidence
Social media posts, check-ins, tagged photos, and even private messages can be subpoenaed and used in court. A single Instagram photo at a restaurant with a new partner can undermine your entire case.
Your partner's posts matter too
Even if you are careful, your new partner may post about you. Their social media is also discoverable. You cannot control what they share.
Dating app profiles
Active profiles on dating apps during divorce proceedings have been used as evidence of adultery, poor judgment, and misrepresentation of character. Screenshots last forever.
The safe approach
Lock down all social media accounts. Do not post anything related to dating, going out, or your lifestyle. Better yet, take a social media break until the divorce is final.
Introducing Children to a New Partner
- ✓Introducing children to a new partner during divorce is almost universally seen as poor judgment by courts
- ✓Children are already dealing with the upheaval of their parents' divorce — adding a new adult creates confusion and insecurity
- ✓Opposing counsel will use it to argue you are not prioritizing the children's emotional needs
- ✓Most child psychologists recommend waiting at least 6-12 months after the divorce is final before introductions
- ✓Never allow a new partner to sleep over when children are in the home during divorce proceedings
- ✓If you are in a custody dispute, this single issue can shift the outcome against you
Cohabitation Clauses and Future Impact
Even after the divorce is final, new relationships can affect your legal obligations.
- ✓Many spousal support agreements and court orders include cohabitation clauses that reduce or terminate support if the recipient moves in with a new partner
- ✓Cohabitation does not require a romantic relationship in some states — even a roommate situation can trigger the clause if challenged
- ✓Remarriage by the recipient spouse almost always terminates spousal support
- ✓Remarriage by the paying spouse typically does NOT reduce their support obligation
- ✓In California, review your settlement agreement carefully for any clauses related to new relationships, cohabitation, or remarriage
Every situation is different
The rules around dating during divorce vary by state and situation. Tell our AI advisor about your case, and we will help you understand the risks in California.
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Legal Disclaimer: This article covers California divorce law for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Laws change frequently. Always consult a licensed California family law attorney for advice specific to your situation.