Hoda Kotb & Joel Schiffman Split
A broken engagement revealed the legal gray zones that unmarried co-parents navigate without the safety net of divorce law.
Key Facts
What Happened
Hoda Kotb, co-anchor of NBC's Today show, announced in January 2022 that she and financier Joel Schiffman had ended their eight-year relationship and engagement. The couple had been together since 2013 and engaged since 2019. Together they adopted two daughters, Haley Joy in 2017 and Hope Catherine in 2019. But they never married, which created a fundamentally different legal landscape for their separation.
Kotb explained the split on air with characteristic grace: 'We decided that we're better as friends and parents than we are as an engaged couple.' She later provided deeper insight, explaining that they were growing at different paces and that she had an epiphany at a retreat that loving someone does not necessarily mean they are the right partner. Schiffman, by all accounts, handled the split with equal dignity.
The co-parenting arrangement they developed has been described as healthy and collaborative. They alternate weekends with the girls, with each parent taking solo time while the other has the children. Kotb has spoken about the arrangement positively, noting that 'the kids love it.'
The Kotb-Schiffman split highlights an increasingly common legal scenario: the dissolution of long-term unmarried partnerships involving children. Without the legal framework of marriage, there is no divorce process to guide asset division or custody. Instead, co-parenting arrangements must be negotiated privately or through family court, often without the protections that married couples take for granted.
Legal Breakdown: When an engagement ends, the legal framework differs from divorce
Unmarried Separation vs. Divorce
Because Kotb and Schiffman never married, their separation was not governed by divorce law. This means no automatic framework for asset division, no spousal support rights, and no court-supervised custody process unless one party files in family court. Unmarried couples who separate must negotiate these issues independently.
Custody Rights for Unmarried Adoptive Parents
Both Kotb and Schiffman adopted their daughters jointly, giving each parent full legal standing as an adoptive parent. Without marriage, custody disputes are resolved through family court rather than divorce proceedings, but the legal rights of each parent are equivalent.
The Importance of Cohabitation Agreements
Long-term unmarried couples, especially those with children, should consider cohabitation agreements that outline asset division and custody arrangements in the event of separation. These agreements provide the structure that divorce law provides to married couples.
What This Means for Your Divorce
- →Unmarried couples who separate do not have the legal protections of divorce law; plan ahead with cohabitation or co-parenting agreements.
- →Joint adoption gives both unmarried parents full legal standing, but custody must be resolved through family court, not divorce proceedings.
- →Breaking an engagement, while emotionally painful, avoids the legal and financial complexity of divorce.
- →Collaborative co-parenting after separation requires mutual respect and flexibility, but produces better outcomes for children than contested custody.
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This article is based on publicly available court records, news reports, and legal analysis. It is provided for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is created by reading this content.
Divorce laws vary by jurisdiction. Always consult a licensed attorney in your area before making legal decisions.