“I Have No Income, No Career, and He Says I'll Get Nothing.” He's Wrong.
If you're a stay-at-home mom facing divorce, your spouse may be telling you that you'll get nothing — no money, no house, maybe even lose the kids. That is not how the law works. Courts recognize your contribution to the family, and you have far more rights than you think.
Feeling scared and alone?
Our AI advisor can help you understand your specific rights based on your state, length of marriage, and situation. Free and anonymous.
Understand My RightsThe Biggest Lie: “You Didn't Earn It, So It's Not Yours”
This is the most common thing controlling spouses say. And it's completely false. Here's the legal reality:
In every US state, marriage is treated as an economic partnership. The law recognizes that a stay-at-home parent's contribution — childcare, homemaking, supporting their spouse's career — has real economic value.
Whether you live in a community property state (like California or Texas) or an equitable distribution state (like New York or Florida), you are entitled to a fair share of everything earned or acquired during the marriage — regardless of whose name is on the paycheck.
Your Rights as a Stay-at-Home Parent
Equitable property division
You are entitled to a fair share of ALL marital assets: the house, retirement accounts (401k, IRA, pension), investments, vehicles, savings — everything accumulated during the marriage.
In community property states, this is typically 50/50. In equitable distribution states, courts consider factors like length of marriage, your earning capacity, and your contributions — which often results in MORE than 50% for the stay-at-home parent.
Spousal support (alimony)
Courts regularly award alimony to stay-at-home parents, especially after long marriages. The purpose: to give you time and resources to become self-supporting without a sudden financial cliff.
Factors courts consider: length of marriage, your age, health, education, earning potential, your spouse's income, and the standard of living during the marriage. Longer marriages typically mean longer (sometimes permanent) alimony.
Child custody advantage
Being the primary caregiver is a significant advantage in custody decisions. Courts prioritize stability and continuity for children — and you've been the one providing that.
Your spouse cannot “buy” custody by having more money. Courts look at who has been the primary caregiver, the parent-child bond, and each parent's ability to support the child's emotional needs.
Attorney fees paid by your spouse
Can't afford a lawyer? Courts can order the higher-earning spouse to pay your attorney fees. This is specifically designed to level the playing field so a wealthier spouse can't outspend you into a bad deal. Request this at the very beginning of the case.
Temporary support while divorce is pending
You don't have to wait until the divorce is final. Courts can order temporary spousal support, child support, and payment of household bills from the moment you file. This can be in place within days.
Getting Back on Your Feet: Practical Steps
Get a free legal consultation NOW
Many family law attorneys offer free initial consultations and will take your case knowing they can petition the court for your spouse to pay fees. Legal Aid provides free help if you qualify. Your state bar association has referral services.
Document your contributions
Start documenting what you do: childcare, school runs, doctor appointments, cooking, cleaning, managing the household, supporting your spouse's career (entertaining clients, relocating for their job, etc.). This matters in court.
Open your own bank account
If you don't have one already, open a checking account in your name only. You have a legal right to a portion of marital funds for living expenses — an attorney can help you access them.
Explore career re-entry programs
Many organizations help parents re-enter the workforce: iRelaunch, Path Forward, and local workforce development centers. Some courts even order the working spouse to pay for your education or job training as part of the divorce settlement.
Build your credit history
If you don't have credit in your own name, start building it now. Apply for a secured credit card, become an authorized user on an existing account, or ask your attorney about getting credit in your name as part of temporary orders.
I was a stay-at-home mom for 14 years. He made $200K a year and I hadn't worked since our first child was born. He told me I'd “end up on welfare” if I left. My attorney got me temporary support of $5,000/month within two weeks of filing. The final settlement included the house, half his retirement, 5 years of alimony, and full child support. I went back to school, got my teaching certificate, and now I'm financially independent. Don't believe the threats.
— Anonymous, shared with permission
You gave up your career for your family. The law protects you.
Tell our AI advisor about your situation — how long you've been married, your kids' ages, your state. Get a clear picture of what you're entitled to.
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Legal Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. While this article uses “mom,” these rights apply equally to stay-at-home dads. Divorce laws vary by state — always consult with a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction for advice specific to your situation.