How do I know if my spouse installed spyware on my phone?

Warning signs include: unusual battery drain, phone running hot when not in use, higher than normal data usage, unfamiliar apps (especially ones disguised as system utilities or calculators), and your spouse knowing things they shouldn't. On iPhone, check Settings → General → VPN & Device Management for unknown profiles. On Android, check Settings → Security → Device admin apps. If you suspect spyware, have a professional inspect the device or perform a factory reset.

What passwords should I change first during divorce?

Change your email password first — email is the key to resetting every other account. Then change: banking and financial accounts, social media, cloud storage (iCloud, Google Drive, Dropbox), shopping accounts (Amazon, etc.), and any account that stores personal information. Use unique, strong passwords for each account and enable two-factor authentication everywhere.

Can my spouse track my location through my phone?

Yes, in several ways: shared family plans with location sharing (Find My iPhone, Google Maps), GPS tracking apps installed on your phone, shared car services like OnStar, and even social media check-ins. Review your location sharing settings, check for tracking apps, and consider whether your vehicle has built-in GPS tracking. If in doubt, use a new device.

Should I get a new phone during divorce?

If your spouse is tech-savvy or you suspect monitoring, a new phone with a new number on a separate plan is the safest option. If that's not possible, at minimum: factory reset your current phone, change all passwords, enable two-factor authentication, and check for monitoring profiles and unfamiliar apps regularly.

Can information from my phone or computer be used in court?

Yes. Text messages, emails, social media posts, search history, photos, and app data can all potentially be used as evidence in divorce proceedings. This works both ways — it's why you should be careful about what you put in writing, and also why you should preserve evidence of any abuse or threats you've received. Do not delete evidence of misconduct; do be cautious about what you create.

Digital Safety: Protect Your Privacy During Divorce

Your phone, computer, and online accounts may not be as private as you think. During divorce, a spouse who has had access to your devices and passwords can monitor your communications, track your location, and access your personal information.

Read this on a safe device

If you suspect your spouse monitors your phone or computer, do not read this guide on a device they have access to. Use a trusted friend's device, a library computer, or a new device your spouse does not know about. Clear your browsing history if you are reading this on a shared device.

Your Devices

Start by making sure the devices you use every day are not compromised.

✓Check your phone for unfamiliar apps. Spyware often disguises itself as system utilities, calculators, or flashlight apps. Look for anything you do not remember installing.
✓iPhone: Go to Settings → General → VPN & Device Management. If you see any profiles you did not install, your device may be monitored.
✓Android: Check Settings → Security → Device admin apps. Look for any apps with admin access that you do not recognize.
✓Have a professional inspect your computer for keyloggers and monitoring software. IT professionals or local computer repair shops can check for hidden programs that record everything you type.
✓Check browser extensions you did not install. Some extensions can capture browsing activity, passwords, and form data.
✓If spyware is suspected, factory reset your device. Back up important data first (photos, contacts), then reset to remove any monitoring software. Set it up as a new device rather than restoring from a backup that might contain the spyware.

Your Accounts

Your online accounts are the gateway to your personal life. Secure them now.

✓Change ALL passwords, starting with email. Email is the master key — it is used to reset every other account. Change your email password first, then banking, social media, cloud storage, and shopping accounts.
✓Enable two-factor authentication (2FA) on every account that supports it. This means even if someone knows your password, they cannot access your account without a second verification step.
✓Use an authenticator app, not SMS. Apps like Google Authenticator or Authy are safer than text message codes. SIM swapping — where someone transfers your phone number to a new SIM — can intercept SMS codes.
✓Create a brand new email address your spouse does not know about. Use it for all divorce-related communication — attorney emails, court documents, apartment applications, and anything sensitive.
✓Check account recovery settings. Remove your spouse's email or phone number from account recovery options on all your accounts. Otherwise, they can use “forgot password” to regain access.
✓Review authorized devices on your accounts (Google, Apple, Microsoft, Facebook). Remove any devices you do not recognize or that belong to your spouse.
✓Change security questions to answers your spouse would not know or guess. Do not use real answers — use random phrases only you would know.

Shared Services and Location Tracking

Shared accounts and services can reveal your location, activity, and plans without you realizing it.

✓Check location sharing: Find My iPhone, Google Maps timeline, and family sharing features may be broadcasting your location. Disable sharing with your spouse.
✓Review shared cloud accounts. iCloud, Google, and Microsoft family accounts can expose your photos, notes, browsing history, calendar events, and reminders to other family members.
✓Shared photo libraries and calendars can reveal your activity. If you added an attorney appointment to a shared calendar or a photo auto-synced to a shared library, your spouse may see it.
✓Consider leaving shared phone plans. Your spouse may be able to see call logs, text metadata, and data usage on a shared plan. Getting your own plan gives you privacy.
✓Consider a new phone with a new number if your spouse is tech-savvy. This is the most secure option, though not always practical. At minimum, secure your current device thoroughly.
✓Check your car for GPS tracking. Both aftermarket trackers (small magnetic devices, often under the chassis or in the wheel well) and built-in services like OnStar, BMW ConnectedDrive, or Tesla's app can reveal your location.
✓Review smart home devices. Alexa, Google Home, Ring cameras, and smart doorbells can record conversations and log activity. Your spouse may have access to these logs remotely.

Your Digital Footprint

Everything you do online leaves traces. Be intentional about what you create.

✓Do NOT post about your divorce on social media. Anything you post can be screenshotted and used in court. This includes venting, photos of new purchases, check-ins at locations, and comments about your spouse.
✓Tighten privacy settings on all social media platforms. Limit who can see your posts, tag you in photos, or find you in searches.
✓Do not use shared computers for divorce research, attorney emails, or apartment searches. Use a personal device or a library computer.
✓Use private or incognito browsing if you must use a shared device. But remember: incognito mode only prevents local history — it does not hide activity from monitoring software or network-level tracking.
✓Be cautious with smart speakers and assistants. Alexa, Siri, and Google Assistant may record conversations. Voice history is stored in accounts your spouse may have access to.
✓Secure your work files. Copy important documents to a personal device or cloud account your spouse cannot access. If your spouse has ever had access to your work devices or accounts, those files may not be private.
✓Check if your spouse has access to your work email or files. Change work passwords and enable 2FA on work accounts if allowed by your employer.

Quick Action Checklist

If you can only do 10 things right now, do these:

1.Change your email password immediately
2.Enable 2FA on email, banking, and social media
3.Create a new email address for divorce communication
4.Check your phone for unfamiliar apps and monitoring profiles
5.Remove your spouse from account recovery options
6.Disable location sharing on your phone
7.Review authorized devices on all accounts
8.Do not post anything about your divorce on social media
9.Check your car for GPS tracking devices
10.Store sensitive files on a device your spouse cannot access

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Legal Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal or technical advice. If you believe you are being stalked or monitored, contact local law enforcement. Installing spyware or tracking someone without their knowledge may be illegal in your state.

For crisis support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or the Safety Net project at the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) for tech safety resources. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.