Is Your Divorce Lawyer Dragging Things Out? How to Spot a Bad Attorney — and What to Do About It
Divorce is already expensive and emotionally devastating. A bad attorney makes it worse — running up your bill, missing deadlines, and turning a six-month case into a two-year nightmare. If something feels wrong with your representation, trust your instincts. Here's how to tell if your lawyer is part of the problem, and exactly what to do about it.
Why Some Divorce Lawyers Drag Out Cases
Not every delay is your lawyer's fault. Courts are slow, opposing counsel can stall, and complex financial issues take time to resolve. But some delays are manufactured — and the reasons are rarely in your best interest.
Billable Hours Incentive
Most divorce attorneys bill by the hour ($200 to $500+). Every phone call, email, motion, and hearing generates revenue. An attorney with a financial incentive to prolong your case may not push hard enough for resolution. A case that settles in three months generates far less revenue than one that drags on for eighteen.
Conflict of Interest
Some attorneys have relationships with opposing counsel, judges, or court-appointed experts that may not align with your interests. If your attorney seems reluctant to challenge the other side or appears overly friendly with opposing counsel, it may not be collegial professionalism — it could be a red flag.
Incompetence or Disorganization
Not every prolonged case is caused by greed. Some attorneys are simply overwhelmed, disorganized, or inexperienced with your type of case. They take on too many clients, miss deadlines, and let your case languish while they put out fires elsewhere.
Emotional Exploitation
A small number of attorneys exploit their clients' emotional state. They validate your anger, encourage you to “fight for everything,” and frame reasonable compromises as “giving in.” This keeps you engaged, billing, and dependent on them — while pushing you further from resolution.
Red Flags Your Lawyer Is NOT Fighting for You
These signs suggest your attorney is not adequately representing your interests — whether due to neglect, overwork, or indifference.
They don't return calls or emails
A 24-48 hour response for non-urgent matters is reasonable. If you're waiting days or weeks to hear back, or your calls consistently go to voicemail with no callback, your attorney is either overwhelmed or doesn't prioritize your case. Either way, it's unacceptable.
They miss deadlines
Family court has strict filing deadlines. A missed deadline can result in sanctions, default judgments, or lost rights. If your attorney has missed a deadline — even once — you need to have a serious conversation. If it happens repeatedly, fire them.
They push settlement too fast
Some attorneys want to close cases quickly because they've already collected your retainer and want to move on. If your lawyer is pressuring you to accept a settlement that seems unfair, or hasn't done adequate discovery to understand the full marital estate, they may be serving their own schedule rather than your interests.
They push settlement too slow
The opposite problem: your spouse makes a reasonable offer, but your attorney advises against it without a clear strategic reason. If they can't explain exactly why rejecting a settlement serves your long-term interests, they may be generating fees.
They don't explain their strategy
You have a right to understand what your attorney is doing and why. If they're evasive about their approach, dismiss your questions with 'trust me,' or can't articulate a clear plan for your case, you don't have a strategist — you have a problem.
They make decisions without consulting you
Your attorney works for you, not the other way around. If they're agreeing to continuances, filing motions, or making concessions without your knowledge and consent, they're violating their duty to keep you informed and involved in your own case.
Red Flags Your Lawyer IS Dragging Things Out
These are active tactics that prolong your case and inflate your bill. If you spot multiple patterns, your attorney may be prioritizing their revenue over your resolution.
Filing unnecessary motions
Every motion costs you money — preparation time, filing fees, court appearances. Legitimate motions protect your rights. But motions filed for tactical posturing, to harass your spouse, or to "send a message" without strategic value are a waste of your money.
Requesting excessive discovery
Discovery (requesting documents, depositions, interrogatories) is essential in complex cases. But demanding every bank statement from the last 20 years in a straightforward divorce with modest assets is overkill designed to generate billable hours. Ask your attorney to justify each discovery request.
Inflaming conflict with your spouse
A good attorney de-escalates when possible. If your lawyer writes aggressive, inflammatory letters to opposing counsel, takes hardline positions on minor issues, or seems to enjoy the fight, they're generating conflict — and billable hours — at your expense.
Advising against reasonable settlements
If your spouse offers terms that a neutral observer would consider fair, and your attorney advises you to reject them without a compelling reason, ask yourself who benefits from continued litigation. Get a second opinion from another attorney.
Scheduling delays and continuances
Watch for patterns: hearings that keep getting postponed, conferences that get rescheduled, deadlines that get extended. Sometimes these are unavoidable. But if your attorney is the one requesting delays, ask for a clear explanation each time.
Divorce Attorney Costs: Are You Overpaying?
Understanding typical costs helps you evaluate whether your bills are reasonable or inflated. Here are the national averages:
Uncontested Divorce
$2,500 – $7,500 in attorney fees. Both spouses agree on major issues (property, custody, support). Often handled with flat-fee billing. If you're paying significantly more for a truly uncontested case, ask why.
Contested Divorce
$15,000 – $30,000+ in attorney fees. Disputes over property division, custody, alimony, or other issues require negotiation, discovery, and potentially trial. The more issues in dispute, the higher the cost.
High-Conflict / Complex Divorce
$50,000 – $100,000+ in attorney fees. Cases involving business valuation, hidden assets, custody battles, forensic accountants, expert witnesses, or interstate/international issues. Some high-profile divorces exceed $500,000.
The Billing Audit: How to Review Your Attorney's Invoices
You have every right to scrutinize your legal bills. Here's what to look for:
- •Block billing — lumping multiple tasks into a single time entry (e.g., “research, draft motion, phone call — 4.5 hours”). This makes it impossible to evaluate each task. Demand itemized entries.
- •Minimum billing increments — if your attorney bills in 15-minute (0.25 hour) increments, a 2-minute email costs you the same as a 14-minute phone call. Some bill in 6-minute (0.1 hour) increments, which is fairer.
- •Duplicate charges — being billed by both the attorney and a paralegal for the same task, or charged multiple times for the same document review.
- •Overhead disguised as costs — charges for photocopies, postage, faxes, or “file maintenance” that should be covered by the attorney's overhead. Ask what is included in your hourly rate versus what is billed separately.
- •Excessive internal conferences — multiple attorneys or staff at the firm billing for discussions about your case. Some internal coordination is normal, but you shouldn't be paying for three lawyers to discuss a routine filing.
Your Rights as a Client
You are not at your attorney's mercy. The attorney-client relationship gives you significant rights that many people don't know about:
- 1.Right to fire your lawyer at any time — You can terminate the attorney-client relationship at any point, for any reason. You do not need their consent or permission. This is an absolute right.
- 2.Right to your complete case file — Your attorney must turn over your entire file upon request. This includes all documents you provided, all work product created for your case, correspondence, court filings, and notes. They cannot hold your file hostage over unpaid bills in most states.
- 3.Right to itemized billing — You have the right to detailed, itemized invoices showing exactly what work was performed, by whom, and how much time was spent. Vague or block-billed invoices are a red flag.
- 4.Right to be informed — Your attorney must keep you reasonably informed about the status of your case, promptly comply with reasonable requests for information, and explain matters to the extent necessary for you to make informed decisions.
- 5.Right to a refund of unearned retainer — If you fire your attorney and there are unused retainer funds, they must return the balance to you. Retainer money belongs to you until it is earned through completed work.
- 6.Right to dispute fees — Most state bars offer fee arbitration programs where a neutral party reviews disputed attorney fees. This is typically free or low-cost and can result in a significant reduction of your bill.
How to Fire Your Divorce Lawyer
Switching attorneys mid-case is disruptive, but staying with a bad one is almost always more costly. Here is the process, step by step:
Secure new counsel first
Before firing your current attorney, consult with and retain a new one. You do not want a gap in representation, especially if you have pending deadlines or hearings. Your new attorney can manage the entire transition.
File a Substitution of Attorney
Your new attorney will file a “Substitution of Attorney” (or “Notice of Change of Counsel” depending on your state) with the court. This officially removes your old attorney and enters your new one as counsel of record.
Request your complete case file
Send a written request (email is fine) to your former attorney demanding your complete file. They are legally required to comply. Set a reasonable deadline (7-10 business days). If they refuse or delay, your new attorney can compel production through the court.
Settle the financial side
Request a final itemized bill and an accounting of your retainer. Any unearned retainer must be refunded. If you dispute charges, contact your state bar's fee arbitration program before paying. Do not let a billing dispute delay getting your file.
Consider timing carefully
Avoid switching attorneys immediately before a major hearing or trial if possible. Your new attorney needs time to review the file and get up to speed. However, if your current attorney is actively harming your case, do not delay — any disruption is better than ongoing damage.
How to File a Complaint with the State Bar
If your attorney's conduct crosses the line from merely disappointing to unethical or negligent, you have the right to file a formal complaint with your state's bar association.
Grounds for a bar complaint include:
- ✓Misappropriating or mishandling client funds
- ✓Failing to communicate or respond to reasonable requests
- ✓Missing court deadlines causing harm to your case
- ✓Conflict of interest (representing both parties, personal relationships with opposing counsel)
- ✓Incompetence or lack of diligence in handling your case
- ✓Charging clearly excessive fees or billing fraud
- ✓Making decisions about your case without your consent
To file, visit your state bar's website and look for “Attorney Discipline” or “File a Complaint.” Most complaints can be submitted online. Include specific dates, copies of billing records, and any written correspondence that documents the issue. The bar will investigate and can impose sanctions ranging from a private reprimand to suspension or disbarment.
Alternatives to Traditional Divorce Litigation
If your experience with a divorce attorney has been negative, know that traditional litigation is not your only option. These alternatives can save you tens of thousands of dollars and months of stress:
Mediation
A neutral mediator helps you and your spouse negotiate a settlement. Typically costs $3,000 to $8,000 total (split between both parties) and resolves in weeks rather than months. Works best when both spouses are willing to negotiate in good faith.
Best for: Couples who can communicate, agree on most issues, and want to minimize conflict and cost.
Collaborative Divorce
Both spouses hire collaboratively trained attorneys who commit to reaching a settlement outside of court. If the process fails, both attorneys must withdraw. This creates a powerful incentive for everyone to negotiate effectively.
Best for: Couples who want attorney guidance but want to avoid the adversarial nature of litigation.
Pro Se (Self-Representation)
Representing yourself can save thousands in attorney fees. Many courts have self-help centers, and you can hire an attorney for limited-scope consultation to review documents or coach you before hearings without full representation.
Best for: Simple, uncontested cases with limited assets and no children, or people with a strong understanding of court procedures.
Unbundled Legal Services
Hire an attorney for only the specific tasks you need help with: drafting a settlement agreement, reviewing your spouse's proposal, preparing for a hearing, or advising on a specific legal question. You handle everything else yourself.
Best for: Budget-conscious clients who need expert help on specific issues but can manage the overall process.
Finding a Better Divorce Attorney
If you've decided to switch attorneys, here is how to find one who will actually serve your interests:
- 1.Ask for referrals from people you trust — Friends, family, or colleagues who have been through divorce are your best source. Ask specifically about communication, responsiveness, and whether the attorney met expectations on cost.
- 2.Contact your state or local bar association — Bar association lawyer referral services connect you with vetted family law attorneys who often offer reduced-fee initial consultations ($25 to $50 for 30 minutes).
- 3.Read online reviews critically — Google Reviews and Avvo can be helpful, but read them carefully. Look for patterns (multiple clients mentioning the same issues) rather than individual extreme reviews. Pay attention to reviews that mention billing practices and communication.
- 4.Consult at least three attorneys — Don't settle for the first one you meet. Compare their approaches, communication styles, and fee structures. Many offer free initial consultations.
- 5.Ask the right questions — Now that you've experienced a bad attorney, you know what to look for. Ask about their communication policy, billing increments, approach to settlement, who will actually handle your case, and their estimated timeline and total cost for a case like yours.
- 6.Check their disciplinary record — Search your state bar's attorney lookup tool for any disciplinary history, malpractice suits, or complaints. This is public information and takes two minutes.
Not sure what to do about your attorney situation?
Talk through your options with our AI advisor. We'll help you evaluate whether your attorney's behavior is normal, concerning, or actionable — and create a plan for next steps. Free, anonymous, available 24/7.
Get My Action Plan →Was this helpful? Help us keep it free.
divorce911.ai is funded entirely by donations. Every dollar keeps the AI assistant and 1,700+ guides free for people in crisis.
Know someone going through a divorce? This could help them.
Legal Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice or an attorney referral service. Attorney fees, practices, and disciplinary procedures vary significantly by state and individual circumstance. The cost ranges cited are national averages and may not reflect pricing in your area. Always consult with a licensed attorney in your state before making decisions about legal representation.
If you believe your attorney has acted unethically, contact your state bar association's disciplinary office for guidance specific to your situation. Nothing in this article should be construed as a guarantee of any particular outcome in any legal proceeding.